So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
