Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize