I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
