girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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