They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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