He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
