I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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