I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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