I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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