She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
