i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
