Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
