White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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