on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
