Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
