We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I want a musical about memes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
