I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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