Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
