another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
