He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize