Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
