Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
