So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
