No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
