My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
