It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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