What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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