I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
