I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
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he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
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I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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