You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
