the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
