Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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