I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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