So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
