i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize