Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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