a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize