omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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