I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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