there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
