That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
