If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
