I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
