she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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