apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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