i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
