i'm signing you up for texting rehab
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize