Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
