And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
