i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
