I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize