Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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