You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
