I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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