rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
