How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
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TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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