How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
