Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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