just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
