No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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