My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
