We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
