i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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