i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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