porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
