Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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