I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
