No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
